


In Fainter Ink

by Riona



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Cohabitation, F/F, F/M, Friendship, Multi, awkward poly arrangements, kind of voyeurism?, struggling with jealousy, unconventional relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:14:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25087492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riona/pseuds/Riona
Summary: Maintaining a friendship with your girlfriend’s other partner can be kind of awkward, but Ellie and Jesse are determined to make it work.
Relationships: Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us), Dina/Jesse (The Last of Us), Ellie & Jesse (The Last of Us)
Comments: 41
Kudos: 105





	In Fainter Ink

**Author's Note:**

> I really loved the dynamic between Ellie, Dina and Jesse. Here's a fic in which they awkwardly try to negotiate V-shaped polyamory!
> 
> This is set in an AU in which Abby never came to Jackson. Dina's in the early stages of pregnancy, although that's not a big focus of the fic.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this!

“People are saying Dina’s pregnant,” Jesse says.

This was going to happen at some point. “Are they?”

“No games, okay? Just... tell me if it’s true.”

Ellie shrugs. “Why don’t you ask her?”

“See,” Jesse says, “I don’t think that’s what you’d say if there were nothing to it.”

Pause. Ellie shifts, scratches her arm. Her hands are itching to fidget with her knife, it’s what she always wants to do in awkward situations, but that would probably give off the wrong message.

“What are you going to do?” she asks at last.

It’s pretty much a confirmation, and he doesn’t react in words, but she sees the tension in him change, just slightly. It’s not that he tenses up; he was already tense. And it’s not that he relaxes, exactly. But it changes.

“I don’t know,” he says, after a moment. “I guess that’s up to Dina.”

-

Ellie kisses Dina, kisses her again, pressing her down into the couch, and it’s still unbelievable to her that she actually gets to _do_ this. She’s trying not to put too much weight on Dina’s general stomach area, she’s not sure how this works, and—

“Oh, yeah.” She breaks away, just barely. “Jesse came to talk to me.”

Dina combs a hand through Ellie’s hair, smiling slightly. “You’re bringing up Jesse _now_?”

“He asked if you were pregnant.”

Dina’s smile fades into something unreadable. “Did you tell him?”

What’s the right way to answer that?

“No,” Ellie says. “But he knows.”

“Hmm.” Dina caresses Ellie’s ear, runs her fingers along her jaw, looking thoughtful.

“I could probably tell him he got the wrong idea,” Ellie offers.

“That’s a story that can only hold for so long.” Dina pauses. “He’d have found out sooner or later. Honestly, I’m glad I wasn’t the one who had to tell him.”

“I don’t think he’s gonna put any pressure on you,” Ellie says. “He said it was up to you what you did.”

“A wise man,” Dina says. She pulls Ellie down to kiss her again, hooking her fingers through Ellie’s belt loop, and Ellie tries to forget about the questions they’re facing. Tries to focus on now.

-

“Can we talk?” Jesse asks.

Ellie hates being asked that; it always makes the conversation seem so much scarier. “Sure.” She pulls herself up to sit on the wall next to him. “What’s up?”

“Dina told me you guys are keeping the baby.”

So Dina’s talked to him about it. Good to know; it felt like she and Jesse really needed to have a conversation. Ellie kicks her heels against the wall, looking out on the street, the people going by. “Yeah, that’s the plan.”

“I thought I should talk to you first,” Jesse says. “I haven’t said anything to her, okay? I won’t say anything if you don’t want me to.”

Ellie looks over at him. “What are you talking about?”

“I wanted to offer to help,” Jesse says. “With the baby.”

Ellie stares at him.

“You know, I could move in, try to be a father figure, wash the diapers and stuff. It’d mean you and Dina could still go on pairs patrol. And...” He hesitates. “It’s a stupid idea, right?”

“Jesse,” Ellie says.

“We can forget about it.”

“Jesse, holy shit, I need you to move in,” Ellie says. “I do not know how to look after a fucking baby.”

-

It’s weird. Ellie really wants Jesse to move in to Dina’s place with them, help with the kid. But there’s still a part of her that’s kind of bothered when Dina agrees.

It doesn’t help that Dina suggests moving in _earlier_ , before the baby’s born, so they don’t have to deal with the move and the kid at the same time.

Ellie’s friend got her girlfriend pregnant, and even if it happened before she and Dina got together she guesses it’s still left her with some issues.

“You sure about this?” Ellie asks Dina, once the conversation’s done and Jesse’s left for patrol with Tommy. “It won’t be weird?”

“Well, it might be a little weird,” Dina says, from the nest of blankets she’s formed on the floor; apparently neither the bed nor the couch is working for her today. “But I was trying to think of how to involve him with the kid. If this works for you, it sounds pretty sensible.” She grins. “Besides, if it doesn’t work out, we can always kick him out into the snow.”

Ellie kind of wishes Dina had said it would be totally fine, not weird at all. But Dina’s smile helps to calm her down a little, at least.

-

There’s still only the one bed. They’re planning to move Jesse’s in when they can, but it’s too far to carry it on foot. Jesse’s put in a request for a vehicle to help out, but there’s always a long list of tasks the vehicles are needed for, and Joel’s mentioned that the gasoline supplies are running low.

So Jesse’s on the couch for now. Dina’s pregnant, and Ellie’s her girlfriend, so they pretty much get the bed by default. He hasn’t complained, but Ellie feels kind of bad about it.

She could offer to trade off with him. One night on the couch, one night in the bed.

But that means there’d be nights when Jesse’s taking the bed with Dina, and Ellie’s not sure how she feels about that.

She doesn’t say anything.

-

It’s good, living with Jesse and Dina. Living on her own after she walked out of Joel’s house kind of sucked. She still had _Jackson_ , she still had that community, everyone was still nearby. But waking up, going to bed, that was pretty lonely. Her place never really felt like home; there was nothing to go back to there.

This feels like home, here. Dina’s place. Ellie and her girlfriend and their mutual friend.

Ellie and her girlfriend and the guy who got her girlfriend pregnant.

Okay, so it’s still kind of weird.

Ellie’s trying to be cool about it. Not to analyse the way Jesse and Dina talk and laugh, the way Dina sometimes touches him on the arm or shoulder. They’re friends. They’re just friends who live together, and this is normal, and she trusts Dina.

And that’s the thing: she _does_ trust Dina. Even if Dina were still in love with Jesse, Ellie knows Dina wouldn’t actually _do_ anything. Not while she and Ellie are together.

So why think about it? There’s no point, right?

-

“Babe?” Dina asks. “Are you here?”

Ellie’s here. She’s here, standing in their room, Dina slowly unbuttoning her shirt.

She’s trying to stay here.

“Kind of thinking about Jesse,” Ellie admits.

Dina laughs. “Well, that’s unexpected.”

But there’s a moment, a hesitation, just before the laugh, and Ellie _knows_.

“You’re still into him, aren’t you?” Ellie asks, quietly.

Dina strokes Ellie’s face. “I’m into you.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“I’m into you.” Dina kisses her, gentle.

Ellie puts her hands on Dina’s shoulders. Holds Dina away from her, without real force. “I’m not having some kind of jealous freakout. I just want to know what you’re feeling.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Dina says. “I’m with you. That’s what I want.”

“I think it matters,” Ellie says.

Dina doesn’t say anything. But she doesn’t move away, either.

“I won’t be mad,” Ellie says. “Whatever you say. I swear.”

“Ooh, that’s a risky promise,” Dina says. “What if I said I cheated on you?”

Ellie gives her a look.

“I didn’t,” Dina says. “I didn’t, babe. I’m just saying you’re writing me a blank check here.”

Ellie’s been meaning to ask Joel or Tommy exactly what _writing a blank check_ means. A check’s what told you how much you had to pay in a restaurant, she’s pretty sure. She guesses it means you took someone to a restaurant and told them they could have whatever they wanted?

“We’ll get through it,” she says. “I’ve coped with worse.”

She nearly said _I’ve forgiven worse_ there. _Forgiven_ definitely isn’t the right word.

Dina raises her eyebrows. “So what’s this _worse_ you’ve coped with?”

“Don’t dodge the question,” Ellie says, to dodge the question. “I’m not gonna be jealous. I’m not trying to catch you out. I’m just asking how you feel about Jesse.”

Dina looks at her carefully. “You’re really serious, aren’t you?”

“I’m serious about you,” Ellie says. She winces as she says it. Ugh. Corny. She’s better than that.

Dina hesitates. Loops her arms around Ellie’s neck, like they’re dancing again, like they’re back in that hall in front of everyone.

“I might still have some feelings for him,” she admits. “But I chose you.”

Ellie won’t be jealous. She’s not jealous. She promised she wouldn’t be jealous.

Ellie swallows. She knew the plan when she opened this conversation, she had it clear in her head, but somehow it’s hard to say now that the moment’s come. “What if you didn’t have to choose?”

It makes sense. Right? The three of them are living together, they’re planning to raise a goddamn _baby_ together, and Jesse likes Dina and Dina likes him and Ellie—

Ellie—

Ellie just wants both of them to be happy.

-

Jesse looks back and forth between them, Ellie to Dina and back again.

“You’re screwing with me,” he says.

“Actually,” Ellie says, “for once, no.”

He’s on the couch; they’re both standing. Ellie’s glad she can look down at him right now; it makes the whole thing seem easier to handle, somehow.

“Dina?” he asks, looking to her for confirmation.

“We had a serious talk about this,” Dina says. “We wouldn’t be bringing it to you if we didn’t mean it.”

“That’s exactly what you’d say if you were screwing with me.”

“Oh, well,” Dina says. “If you’re not interested...”

“No, wait,” Jesse says. “Wait. Give me a moment to figure this out.”

Dina laughs. Ellie tries to laugh, too. A part of her genuinely wants to; it’s funny to see Jesse so thrown.

But a much larger part of her is sick with nerves. What if he says yes and she takes it badly? What if it turns out she’s not as selfless as she wants to be?

It’s not too late, she tries to remind herself. Dina told her that. _If you really mean it, we can talk to him. But you say the word any time and we can drop the whole idea, okay? No questions asked, even if he’s right there taking my pants off._

“It’d just be me and Dina, right?” Jesse asks.

“I’d still be with Ellie,” Dina says. “That’s non-negotiable.”

“I know,” Jesse says. “I know. I just mean – two at a time, right? Not all three of us, not – not me and Ellie.”

“Definitely not,” Ellie says.

“Okay.” Jesse lets out a breath. “Good.”

Ellie hikes up her eyebrows as far as they’ll go. Fucking with Jesse, going all mock-offended: this is familiar, this is comfortable. “Good?”

Jesse laughs, quietly. “Well, you’re more intimidating than she is.”

“Wow,” Dina says. “Offer rescinded.”

Ellie looks over at Dina. Kidding? Not kidding? They need to make sure they’re both on the same page.

Dina looks back at her with a smile. Kidding.

“So?” Ellie asks, looking back at Jesse. “What do you think?”

Jesse hesitates.

“You guys would still be together, right?” he asks. “I need to... I think I need to think about this. Being with someone who’s... with someone else.”

It’s kind of gratifying to know he takes their relationship seriously. He doesn’t think they’re just two girls making out because it’s hot. He knows they’re committed to each other, he knows this isn’t the same offer it’d be if Dina were single.

“You’d be okay with this?” he asks, looking at Ellie.

Ellie shrugs. “I suggested it, didn’t I?”

Dina glances over at her, frowning slightly. “I don’t think that’s technically a yes.”

Goddamn her stupid incredible perceptive girlfriend. Ellie doesn’t want to commit _too_ hard to being totally okay with this, because then she’ll end up feeling stupid if it turns out she’s not.

But Jesse’s a good guy, and Dina likes him, and Ellie really wants Dina to have every good thing this stupid shitty world can offer her.

“No, seriously, don’t worry,” she says. “I’m okay.”

-

Jesse’s just standing out in the snow, watching the gate. Ellie walks up to him, nudges him with her shoulder.

He gives her a quick smile. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Ellie says. “Cold as balls, huh?”

Jesse raises his eyebrows. “Are balls cold?”

“Like I’d know.”

They stay there for a while, eyes on the gate. Ellie rubs her hands together to keep the blood circulating. She needs new gloves; these ones are pretty much worn through at the fingertips.

“You need Dina for anything?” she asks.

“Who said anything about Dina?”

“You’re here, right?” Ellie asks. “Figured you were waiting for her to come back from patrol.”

Jesse laughs a little. “Yeah, you’ve caught me. You’re doing the same thing, right?”

“Just want to make sure she gets back safe.”

“Yeah,” Jesse says. “Me too.”

They’re quiet for a moment.

“Were you serious about that offer?” Jesse asks. “It seems kind of nuts.”

He might not be wrong. “Yeah, it’s serious.”

“You really think we could make it work? I don’t want us to end up hating each other.”

That’s something she’s kind of afraid of as well. It’s good to know they’ll both be fighting for it not to happen, she guesses.

“I don’t know,” Ellie says, because they’re going to have to be honest with each other if this is going to hold together. “I think it’s worth trying.”

There’s a whistle from the watchtower. One long whistle: human, on schedule. They can relax a little, squinting out through the whiteness at the approaching horses.

“She’s the star,” Ellie says. “We’re both just orbiting around her.”

Jesse glances over at her. “Are you working on song lyrics when I’m trying to talk to you?”

Ellie lets out a little huff of breath to cover her smile. “Shut up.”

-

Jesse says yes in the end. Obviously. Dina is the most incredible person on the planet; who the fuck wouldn’t say yes to her?

So here they are, living together. The three of them. Ellie and her girlfriend and her girlfriend’s boyfriend.

This feels like it’s going to crash and burn.

-

Ellie stands frozen in the doorway to the bedroom.

She and Jesse talked about this, they both agreed it’d be sensible to knock before opening the door. It just slipped her mind.

“Christ,” Jesse mutters. “Infected?”

Ellie shakes her head, swallows. Tries to look at the floor instead of the bed, but then she’s just looking at their discarded clothes, trying not to picture how they got there. “Uh, no.”

Again, the tension in the room doesn’t exactly relax; it just _changes_. When Jesse speaks again, the sharp alert-mode tone has gone from his voice and he just sounds kind of embarrassed. “Okay, can... can it wait?”

His voice is ragged. Ellie should probably close the door.

She can’t stop looking at Dina. She’s seen Dina in ecstasy before; she hasn’t seen it from _across the room_.

It doesn’t feel right. Ellie should be the one responsible for that.

“ _Don’t_ fucking stop,” Dina snaps out, half a gasp, and then her head seems to kick in, she seems to realise this might be rough for Ellie. “Oh – sorry, Ellie – we can—”

What happens if she turns and walks out? She’ll end up sitting against the wall, stewing over what she knows is happening in here, annoyed with herself for saying she was fine with it. And then it’ll be fucking awkward, they’ll all be uncomfortable around each other for a while.

What happens if she stays?

Well, it’s definitely a golden opportunity for her to screw with Jesse, and she’s pretty sure the laws of their friendship mean it’s illegal for her to pass that up.

“Hey, just pretend I’m not here.” Ellie folds her arms, leans against the doorframe. “Let’s see what the fuss is about.”

“Is this really happening?” Jesse asks, slightly desperate.

Ellie gestures casually. “Keep going.”

Dina cracks up. “Wow, Ellie, you have got the most incredible balls.”

Any decision that means she gets to hear Dina laugh is the right decision. She’s already feeling a lot better about this.

Ellie tilts her head. “Yeah? How would you say they compare to Jesse’s?”

Jesse’s voice is strangled. “Ellie—”

“Don’t stop,” Dina reminds him.

“This is so weird,” Jesse mutters, half-laughing. “This is...”

But he doesn’t stop.

“Dina’s louder than that when I’m with her, y’know,” Ellie says.

“Are you seriously—” Jesse cranes his head up to look at Ellie, and it’s slightly uncomfortable for an instant – watching your friend bang your girlfriend is already kind of a lot; looking him in the eye while he does it might be too much – but then he gets flustered and drops his gaze, and it’s immediately hilarious instead. “Are you seriously here to give me shit about my technique?”

“Someone has to,” Ellie says, with a shrug, even though nobody’s looking her way to see it. “It’s your own fault, anyway. I’d have known not to come in if you could get her to make some noise. Why don’t you put some more effort in, huh?”

Jesse starts laughing so hard he can’t keep a rhythm, and Ellie grins, something warm quietly melting away the jealousy inside her. She can work with this.

-

The bed’s just big enough to sleep three, it turns out, if nobody hogs the space. Dina in the middle, obviously.

Well, yeah, Dina is _absolutely_ a space hog, but they can work on that.

-

“Heard Jesse moved in with you and Dina,” Joel says.

He always sounds a little hesitant when he opens a conversation with her, testing the ice. Ellie gets it; they fell out badly, for a long time. She’s speaking to him again, and honestly it feels good to have him back in her life, but it’s not like they can forget it.

Ellie nods, leading Shimmer out of the stall they’re planning to clean. They’ve both got stable duty today. It’s not Joel’s usual routine; maybe he asked Tommy to be transferred onto her shift. “He’s gonna help out with the baby when it comes.”

“Guess that makes sense,” Joel says. “Still.” He pauses. “It ain’t awkward? Lot of history there.”

It’s not _not_ awkward. But...

“You know,” Ellie says, “I think it’ll be okay.”


End file.
